June 16, 2013
Father’s Day
First,
a pregnancy update! I’m currently 10
weeks and 5 days. Baby J is the size of
a kumquat! Thankfully, I haven’t had very
much morning sickness at all…except while I was in Mexico, but that’s a story
for another day. I’m not having any
cravings really, but I've noticed I can’t eat as much as I used to because I
get full really fast. Also, a lot of
things upset my stomach these days. I
have been eating a lot of pickles and drinking a lot of spicy V8, though! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying
by…I’m almost finished with my first trimester!
Hopefully the 2nd trimester will be just as easy as the
first!
I
knew I wanted to write this blog for Father’s Day but I knew that it would be a
tough one to start. This post is
dedicated to all the fathers in my life:
my daddy, Clay’s daddy, my uncle Kent, and of course, our sweet baby’s
father-to-be.
I
want to start with my daddy. My daddy,
Stuart John Ross grew up in Miami in the 50s.
From the stories I've heard, he led a very hard life, beginning with his
childhood. These hard beginnings helped
shape him into the man he became. He was
one SO smart. He had more common sense
than I will ever have. He was an amazing
welder. He was so talented. I remember him yelling up from the basement,
asking me to come downstairs and help him on one of his latest art
projects. He made belt buckles,
bracelets, and stained glass. He never
did anything halfway. He put everything
he had into everything he did.
Unfortunately, life never got
any easier for him. He worked hard for
every dime he made. He tried his best to
give us girls what we needed and wanted.
I’ll never forget how happy I was when he’d come home with candy from
Jerry’s Neighborhood Store after work.
He was always thinking about us, whether we knew it or not. My sisters are 8 and 11 years older than me,
so I got to experience my daddy pretty much as an only child for many years. There were times I wanted nothing to do with
him. It’s amazing how your perspective
on things change as you get older. All
the bad times seem to fade away and all you are left with are the good memories
you choose to hold on to.
When my mom and dad split up,
I honestly didn’t know if I would ever want to see him again. When he got sick a few years later, when I
was in college, my mom invited him to move back in so she could take care of him. It makes me tear up just thinking about how
selfless my mom is. She loved him when
he didn't love himself. I’ll never
forget those years that allowed us to reconnect. He even got to see my cheer at one of my
college football games! I will always be
grateful for that short time. Those were
the last times I got to spend with him.
The summer after I graduated, he got really sick and was admitted into
the hospital. He died a few days later on
June 27, 2008. One regret I will always
have is not calling him back that summer when I got back from Italy at the end
of May and had a voice mail from him.
That was the last time I heard his voice. I like to think he knew I was there at the
hospital with him though. I have to believe he did.
It was hard when I got
married and he wasn't there, but it was even harder when I found out I was
pregnant and realized he wouldn't be here for that either. I just pray every day that he knows how much
I love him and miss him. I think about
him in everything I do, hoping I am making him proud.
Whenever I get sad, these
lyrics give me comfort…
Sometimes,
I feel my heart is breaking
But
I stay strong, and I hold on because I know
I
will see you again,
This
is not where it ends.
I
will carry you with me…
Love
you, daddy!
Even though my daddy is gone, I have no lack
of amazing men in my life. My uncle Kent
is one of the most amazing, generous, and kind men I've ever met. I spent the first 10 or more years of my life
afraid to even go near him because I was so shy. When I would have to walk by his chair, I
would stay as far away as I could. After
a few years, that all passed and I got to know what an unbelievable man he
is. I will never be able to thank him
enough for stepping in and being a father figure to me and helping our family
out when we needed it the most. He has
always been there for us, no questions asked.
Kent, you have helped to shape me into the
person I am today, and I am so honored to be your niece and I love you to the
moon and back!
Clay’s
daddy, Karlie is the sweetest man you will ever meet. I could not have hand-picked a better
father-in-law. He would do absolutely
anything for us and I can see so many of his qualities in Clay. He is so gentle, caring, funny, and
generous. I am so lucky that our baby
will have such an incredible role model to grow up with. If Clay is half the daddy you are, this baby
will be the most loved little thing in the world. Love you, Karlie!
Lastly,
to the father of our sweet little baby…
First of all, thanks for choosing me.
I know things haven’t been easy the last few years with me totally
uprooting us and changing careers. Thank
you for letting me follow my dreams. You
will never know how much I appreciate your support and selflessness. When I picture our little baby, I see a
perfect mix of you and me…my tender heart, your sensibility. My book smarts, your common sense. My need for attention, your
independence. You are going to be the
most amazing father. Watching you with
Bailey and Zoey made me long for the day you would be able to play with our own
little baby. I am so thankful that our
baby is going to grow up with a daddy who will love him or her more than life
itself. I am so excited to start the
next chapter of our lives with you! I
love you more than you will EVER know.
xoxo
