Thursday, May 26, 2011

You've got to be kidding me...

On Inside Edition tonight, they said that 4 out of 10 men have a "gene" for cheating.  Seriously?  Clearly, the doctor who discovered this gene is a cheater and just looking for an excuse.  If this is true, can cheating be cured or managed with medicine?  Does anyone else find this as completely absurd as I do??  Let's not give men an excuse to be idiots.  How about we just call it like it is and blame it on their selfishness and ego instead.  :o)    

Inside Edition also said these are signs your man might cheat:
-SAT scores- studies show that high intelligence is linked to monogamy...duh- smart men know better than to cheat on us! ;o)
-Middle aged men are more likely to cheat.
-Guys who are adventurous tend to cheat.

Moral of the story-  Date a guy that is smart, old, and boring.  

Hope this gives all of you single ladies some renewed faith in men!  :-/  Yikes!

PS-  I'm glad I found a good one.  ;o)

Monday, May 16, 2011

THIS is why I hate bees...

So, my knee is scraped, my head is throbbing, and I'm pretty sure I broke a bone in my hand.

What happened might you ask?

Well, I had a run-in with a wasp, or a "wost" as my sweet husband calls them.

I went out to the shop to get Hank, like I do every day.  Only today, there was a wasp building a little hive on the door.  If only I had seen him before he saw me.  I go in, no problem.  Come out, shut the door and suddenly I feel something (a wasp) in my hair and something that feels like a bite (a sting).  Yep, I got stung on the top of my head, all while trying to hold Hank by the collar because I didn't have his leash.  I am in a furry, panicking, trying to get the bee out of my hair.  Then, I start running, get ahead of my feet, and fall...HARD...with Hank's collar still in my hand.  I scrape my knee and my hand and I'm pretty sure I have a broken bone because my palm is super swollen and in pain.  So I put Hank in the car and try to figure out what to do next because my keys are still in the lock, I can't get in my house, and I am not about to go near that door.

As if you aren't amused enough already, it gets better.  Better than me falling?  Oh yes.

I stand there, by the car, looking in at Hank wishing that he could help me out somehow or give me some advice.  Round 1...I walk up to the door and try to sneak up and its as if the bee sees me coming.  So, he swoops down off the hive and tries to sting me again.  I run back to the car.  Round 2.  I see a water bottle in the car....grab the water bottle, hide behind the door with one foot in, and throw it as hard as I can at the door.  Of course, I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, so naturally, I missed the nest.  Round 3...I see a stick.  I throw it.  Miss.  I see another one, throw it, miss.  Then I debate whether or not to get close enough to the door to grab the stick and bottle and throw them again.  Nah, too scared.  Round 4...I grab a rock..throw it, ding the door and knock the black paint off.  Oops.  No more rocks.  Round 5....I grab the floor mat, yep.  That's right, the floor mat.  I put it over my head (go ahead, laugh) and sneak up to the door.  I get scared, and go back to the car.  It's like the bee is waiting on me.  I look at Hank, still nothin'.  He's so confused.  Round 6...I go back...and my heart is beating a million beats a second.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I am deathly afraid of bees.  I FREAK out (obviously).  So, I put the floor mat back over my head, stand with my back up against the shop, as if I'm a navy seal or FBI or something, and inch towards the door.  Of course, I couldn't get the key out.  So, I have to turn it every which way because I had left it mid-lock when I was being attacked the first time.  I can't get it out with my left hand so I switch the mat to the my left hand, trying to keep it between me and the bee.  After a couple hard tugs, I get the key out and what does the bee do?  Swarm at me again.  What the heck is up with this bee?  I just want to get my key and leave you alone!  So, I get the key, try to fight off the bee with the floor mat, breathe a huge sigh of relief when I get away...without falling, and PRAY that I'm not allergic to wasps.

All I can say is, it's a good thing I got Hank out before I got stung, because he would have been staying in there until Clay got home.

First up on the agenda when Clay gets home...pick up the water bottle that I was too scared to get and KILL.THE.BEE.

You're welcome.  Go ahead and laugh, I would too.              



Monday, May 9, 2011


On Sunday, we celebrated the most important women in the world...moms.

For those of you that know my mama, you know she is the sweetest and kindest woman in the world.  She puts others before herself, always.  As I've gotten older, I've come to truly appreciate the amazing woman she is.  She is the most selfless person I've ever met and would do anything for anyone.  She loves her family and sticks by us through thick and thin.  My mama has had more heartache than anyone deserves and she meets every challenge with style and grace.  I admire her more than she could ever imagine.                    

Mama, I hope to be HALF the woman you are one day.  I love you so much and I hope you never forget how much you are loved, admired, and appreciated by everyone who knows you!