Monday, May 16, 2011

THIS is why I hate bees...

So, my knee is scraped, my head is throbbing, and I'm pretty sure I broke a bone in my hand.

What happened might you ask?

Well, I had a run-in with a wasp, or a "wost" as my sweet husband calls them.

I went out to the shop to get Hank, like I do every day.  Only today, there was a wasp building a little hive on the door.  If only I had seen him before he saw me.  I go in, no problem.  Come out, shut the door and suddenly I feel something (a wasp) in my hair and something that feels like a bite (a sting).  Yep, I got stung on the top of my head, all while trying to hold Hank by the collar because I didn't have his leash.  I am in a furry, panicking, trying to get the bee out of my hair.  Then, I start running, get ahead of my feet, and fall...HARD...with Hank's collar still in my hand.  I scrape my knee and my hand and I'm pretty sure I have a broken bone because my palm is super swollen and in pain.  So I put Hank in the car and try to figure out what to do next because my keys are still in the lock, I can't get in my house, and I am not about to go near that door.

As if you aren't amused enough already, it gets better.  Better than me falling?  Oh yes.

I stand there, by the car, looking in at Hank wishing that he could help me out somehow or give me some advice.  Round 1...I walk up to the door and try to sneak up and its as if the bee sees me coming.  So, he swoops down off the hive and tries to sting me again.  I run back to the car.  Round 2.  I see a water bottle in the car....grab the water bottle, hide behind the door with one foot in, and throw it as hard as I can at the door.  Of course, I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, so naturally, I missed the nest.  Round 3...I see a stick.  I throw it.  Miss.  I see another one, throw it, miss.  Then I debate whether or not to get close enough to the door to grab the stick and bottle and throw them again.  Nah, too scared.  Round 4...I grab a rock..throw it, ding the door and knock the black paint off.  Oops.  No more rocks.  Round 5....I grab the floor mat, yep.  That's right, the floor mat.  I put it over my head (go ahead, laugh) and sneak up to the door.  I get scared, and go back to the car.  It's like the bee is waiting on me.  I look at Hank, still nothin'.  He's so confused.  Round 6...I go back...and my heart is beating a million beats a second.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I am deathly afraid of bees.  I FREAK out (obviously).  So, I put the floor mat back over my head, stand with my back up against the shop, as if I'm a navy seal or FBI or something, and inch towards the door.  Of course, I couldn't get the key out.  So, I have to turn it every which way because I had left it mid-lock when I was being attacked the first time.  I can't get it out with my left hand so I switch the mat to the my left hand, trying to keep it between me and the bee.  After a couple hard tugs, I get the key out and what does the bee do?  Swarm at me again.  What the heck is up with this bee?  I just want to get my key and leave you alone!  So, I get the key, try to fight off the bee with the floor mat, breathe a huge sigh of relief when I get away...without falling, and PRAY that I'm not allergic to wasps.

All I can say is, it's a good thing I got Hank out before I got stung, because he would have been staying in there until Clay got home.

First up on the agenda when Clay gets home...pick up the water bottle that I was too scared to get and KILL.THE.BEE.

You're welcome.  Go ahead and laugh, I would too.              




  1. lol! hilarious! Very vivid writing details! :) I was definitely imaganing it as I read it. hahaha. LOVE the floor mat idea- I will keep that in mind next time I am faced in a duel with a bee! Hope your hand isn't broken though!!

  2. I know what i'm buying you as a going away present....BEE SPRAY!! and obviously some more floor mats in the case of another bee attack :o)