Father's Day

June 16, 2013

Father’s Day

            First, a pregnancy update!  I’m currently 10 weeks and 5 days.  Baby J is the size of a kumquat!  Thankfully, I haven’t had very much morning sickness at all…except while I was in Mexico, but that’s a story for another day.  I’m not having any cravings really, but I've noticed I can’t eat as much as I used to because I get full really fast.  Also, a lot of things upset my stomach these days.  I have been eating a lot of pickles and drinking a lot of spicy V8, though!  I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying by…I’m almost finished with my first trimester!  Hopefully the 2^nd trimester will be just as easy as the first!

            I knew I wanted to write this blog for Father’s Day but I knew that it would be a tough one to start.  This post is dedicated to all the fathers in my life:  my daddy, Clay’s daddy, my uncle Kent, and of course, our sweet baby’s father-to-be. 

            I want to start with my daddy.  My daddy, Stuart John Ross grew up in Miami in the 50s.  From the stories I've heard, he led a very hard life, beginning with his childhood.  These hard beginnings helped shape him into the man he became.  He was one SO smart.  He had more common sense than I will ever have.  He was an amazing welder.  He was so talented.  I remember him yelling up from the basement, asking me to come downstairs and help him on one of his latest art projects.  He made belt buckles, bracelets, and stained glass.  He never did anything halfway.  He put everything he had into everything he did. 

Unfortunately, life never got any easier for him.  He worked hard for every dime he made.  He tried his best to give us girls what we needed and wanted.  I’ll never forget how happy I was when he’d come home with candy from Jerry’s Neighborhood Store after work.  He was always thinking about us, whether we knew it or not.  My sisters are 8 and 11 years older than me, so I got to experience my daddy pretty much as an only child for many years.  There were times I wanted nothing to do with him.  It’s amazing how your perspective on things change as you get older.  All the bad times seem to fade away and all you are left with are the good memories you choose to hold on to.

When my mom and dad split up, I honestly didn’t know if I would ever want to see him again.  When he got sick a few years later, when I was in college, my mom invited him to move back in so she could take care of him.  It makes me tear up just thinking about how selfless my mom is.  She loved him when he didn't love himself.  I’ll never forget those years that allowed us to reconnect.  He even got to see my cheer at one of my college football games!  I will always be grateful for that short time.  Those were the last times I got to spend with him.  The summer after I graduated, he got really sick and was admitted into the hospital.  He died a few days later on June 27, 2008.  One regret I will always have is not calling him back that summer when I got back from Italy at the end of May and had a voice mail from him.  That was the last time I heard his voice.  I like to think he knew I was there at the hospital with him though.  I have to believe he did. 

It was hard when I got married and he wasn't there, but it was even harder when I found out I was pregnant and realized he wouldn't be here for that either.  I just pray every day that he knows how much I love him and miss him.  I think about him in everything I do, hoping I am making him proud.

Whenever I get sad, these lyrics give me comfort…

Sometimes, I feel my heart is breaking

But I stay strong, and I hold on because I know

I will see you again,

This is not where it ends.

I will carry you with me…

Love you, daddy!

             Even though my daddy is gone, I have no lack of amazing men in my life.  My uncle Kent is one of the most amazing, generous, and kind men I've ever met.  I spent the first 10 or more years of my life afraid to even go near him because I was so shy.  When I would have to walk by his chair, I would stay as far away as I could.  After a few years, that all passed and I got to know what an unbelievable man he is.  I will never be able to thank him enough for stepping in and being a father figure to me and helping our family out when we needed it the most.  He has always been there for us, no questions asked. 

Kent, you have helped to shape me into the person I am today, and I am so honored to be your niece and I love you to the moon and back!

            Clay’s daddy, Karlie is the sweetest man you will ever meet.  I could not have hand-picked a better father-in-law.  He would do absolutely anything for us and I can see so many of his qualities in Clay.  He is so gentle, caring, funny, and generous.  I am so lucky that our baby will have such an incredible role model to grow up with.  If Clay is half the daddy you are, this baby will be the most loved little thing in the world.  Love you, Karlie!

            Lastly, to the father of our sweet little baby…  First of all, thanks for choosing me.  I know things haven’t been easy the last few years with me totally uprooting us and changing careers.  Thank you for letting me follow my dreams.  You will never know how much I appreciate your support and selflessness.  When I picture our little baby, I see a perfect mix of you and me…my tender heart, your sensibility.  My book smarts, your common sense.  My need for attention, your independence.  You are going to be the most amazing father.  Watching you with Bailey and Zoey made me long for the day you would be able to play with our own little baby.  I am so thankful that our baby is going to grow up with a daddy who will love him or her more than life itself.  I am so excited to start the next chapter of our lives with you!  I love you more than you will EVER know.  xoxo

176

Here is my first baby blog post from June 6, when I was 9 weeks.

176.  That’s the number of times my sweet baby’s heart beats in one minute.  It’s crazy to think that something so small can have such a powerful heart already!  She (I’m going to refer to the baby as a she…much better than “it” J) is only an inch long right now…about the size of a grape.  I am 9 weeks and 2 days.  The weeks are flying by!

I had my first ultrasound yesterday.  Luckily, Clay was able to come with me to see our sweet baby for the first time.  My friends and family can attest to the fact that I was an absolute nervous wreck before the ultrasound.  Besides a little nausea at times, I didn’t really feel pregnant.  I know that’s normal in the beginning, but when something is growing inside of you, you at least want to be able to tell it’s there!  We waited for about 20 minutes and then the nurse came and took us back.  Within minutes, I was on the table and a picture of my baby was up on the big TV.  I can’t even describe the emotions that were rushing through my mind.  As soon as the baby popped up on the screen and she said there’s the heart, I just lost it.  All those worries just slipped away and I was overcome with joy and awe.  Tears immediately started streaming down my cheeks and Clay squeezed my leg to let me know he was there, as always. 

I always wondered what it would be like to hear your baby’s heart beat for the first time.  I can say it is like nothing else you will ever experience.  I remember hearing my niece Zoey’s heart beat for the first time.  Now I know how my sister felt.  It all becomes real.  I am growing a PERSON inside of me.  How crazy is that?!  I never thought I could love something so much.

It all started a couple months ago.  Clay and I walked up to the pool and sat one evening and started talking about when we thought we would start trying to have kids.  As my friends know, I've been ready for a baby for so long, but with school and moving around so much, the timing just never seemed right.  I knew if I could at least wait until March,  the baby would be born after I was finished with school, so any time after that was fair game for me…not so much for Clay.  He wasn't so sure about having a baby yet but finally gave in and said we could start trying late summer.  When we got back into our apartment, Clay was using our living room as a putting green.  I said if I made the ball between the two quarters, we would start trying sooner.  Well, of course I missed the first time.  How about 3 tries?  I miss the 2^nd and made the 3^rd.  Then, we did the quarter flip.   I won, twice in a row.  Looks like we weren't going to have to wait til the end of summer!  Well, two months later, here we are!  I never thought I’d be able to get pregnant so fast.  I always worried that I would have trouble.  

God’s timing was so much better than mine ever could have been.  My due date is January 7, so I’ll have my last month of pregnancy off from school to relax and the first two months after she’s born to spend with her (or him) while I study for NCLEX.   Yes, being pregnant during nursing school is going to be hard, but the majority will be during my 2^nd trimester which I hear isn't so bad.  The best part is that I feel so much more prepared for the pregnancy and what to expect because of all the experiences I've gotten at Northside working in labor and delivery.  Also, I’m in my OB/Peds rotation this summer…good timing, huh?

Besides hearing our baby’s heart beat and seeing her for the first time, telling our families and friends was one of our favorite things so far.  Their reactions were all so different, and each one was precious.  That will be another post…with videos. J 

Thank you all for taking this journey with us.  Please pray for a healthy mama, daddy, and baby!  

It's a 'God thing'...

This past year has been full of what I like to call "God things".  I am so used to saying, "that's just my luck" when something doesn't go my way.  This entire year has made me realize that those times have to happen because something even better is yet to come.

On Valentine's Day 2011, we closed on our first house house in South Carolina.

Two days later, Clay got a job in Georgia.  Great.  Newlyweds, just bought a house with a nice piece of land, a fence, shop, and pool...and we don't get to live together.  It was tough coming to terms with the thought that the house we just bought wasn't going to be ours for long.  Little did I know, but Clay getting a job in Georgia would turn out to be the first of many "God things".  

Since I was so unhappy teaching, I started looking into going back to school for nursing since that was really what I wanted to do after my daddy died.  So...fast forward to June and I don't have a job, my husband lives in another state, AND we are going to have to sell our house.  Perfect.

Then, Clay & I are in the pool one day and he says, "Why don't you go to Kennesaw State?"  My response was, "What the heck is that??"  He said, "It's in Georgia and I think they have a bass fishing team."  Oh, Clay...you would know that.  So, I look into it, and sure enough they have a second degree nursing program.  Hmmm....this is when things start to fall into place.

I decided to start taking my pre-reqs and worked it out so that I could have them all finished in time to start school last fall.  I applied to Emory & Kennesaw and I was so shocked to learn that I had gotten into both programs.  I never in a million years thought I'd be one of the 120 chosen out of the 900 applications KSU received.  If I had known there were that many applicants, I probably would have talked myself out of applying all together...but, I didn't, and I got in.  God thing number 2.

Fast forward to 2012.  So, now we have a house in SC, aren't living together, and I got accepted to a program in Georgia.  Time to sell the house!  We listed our house in March and had an offer by the end of May.  Who the heck sells their house in less than 2 months in this economy...in Pickens??  God thing number 3.

Then, Clay and I find the perfect apartment in precious Woodstock and it is in our price range and is available as soon as we need it to be.  God thing number 4.

We knew it was going to be tough with me going to school full time and living off of one salary, so I needed to get a job ASAP.  Kohl's offered me a job two hours after I arrived in Woodstock.  God thing number 5.

Last semester was a whirl wind!  I was working 20-30 hours and I'm in the accelerated program, so I had an extra class.  It was hard work and the entire semester I was just praying that I would do well to validate my choice to change careers...I got all A's, so I'd say my first semester was a success! God thing number 6.

I am lucky enough to be going to Mexico for two weeks in May to work in two hospitals and live with a Mexican family.  This will be such a great experience to be able to work on my skills and learn more about healthcare in areas that aren't as fortunate as we are.  I am SO excited about this amazing opportunity to serve others.  God thing number 7.

I applied to participate in Children's Healthcare of Atlanta's college volunteer program and I start on February 2!  I will be at an urgent care center every Saturday hopefully making sick children smile :)  God thing number 8.

Finally, back in December a hiring manager in labor and delivery at Northside Hospital in Atlanta got my resume and sent it to HR.  Last week, I got a call to set up an interview on this Wednesday.  Today, I got the call that I had received the externship position!  I feel so blessed that I've been chosen for this position.  I can't wait to start working with all those sweet mamas and babies (and poor, sleep-deprived husbands).  I have been praying that I would find an opportunity to get into a hospital and gain some experience and finally, I am getting that chance!  God thing number 9.

This year has really made me look back and reflect on all those times I was selfish and mad that things weren't happening the way I wanted them to, when I wanted them to.  I am finally able to step back and see that everything happens for a reason.  I finally feel like all the tough times we faced the past couple of years are starting to pay off.  It's amazing what God will do in your life when you stop sulking about all the things that aren't happening.  These next 12 months are going to be so much work, but it will be totally worth it.  I'm so excited to see what other 'God things' He has in store!  

I just want to say a special thank you to all my friends and family for being so encouraging and always rooting for me.  It's nice to know that you are all in my corner when things get hard!

To Clay- you are amazing.  I don't know how in the world you have handled all of these changes like you have.  You are the most unselfish person I've ever met.  Love you to the moon and back!

To my nursing girls- Lord knows I couldn't have made it this far without all of you...I love you all and I am so thankful for you!

This time next year, I'll be Casey Johnson, RN, BSN!        

New year, new me...

Since resolutions are meant to be broken even more than rules are, I didn't make any 'resolutions' this year.  Instead, I set a 'goal' before Christmas.  Clay and I (and hopefully all the people I am trying to talk into doing this with us) are going to do the Savannah half-marathon in November.  Yes, I know.  I hate running.  I am hoping I can coerce everyone I know...literally...into doing it with us so that we have people to hold us accountable.  Lord knows if I was doing this alone it would not happen.  Acknowledging and accepting that fact is my first step in succeeding.  I feel like I made a lot of big girl decisions in 2011 and actually stuck to them, so I want to do the same in 2012.  I have so much more motivation than I thought I would (mainly not being able to fit into any of my clothes).  My sister read that if you do something for two weeks straight, it will usually stick.  This week is the start of those two weeks.  I'll let you if the two week rule is true.   Clay & I started the Couch to 5K program before Christmas but once Christmas rolled around and we were in our car more than we were anywhere we went, running got put on the back burner.  So, yesterday was the start of several things:
 
1.  Special K Diet-  The Special K brand foods are actually pretty tasty!
My Special K choices:  Fruit & Yogurt cereal, Chocolate Delight cereal, Cheddar cracker chips, Southwest Ranch cracker chips, Chocolate Delight protein bars, and Chocolate Pretzel snack bars.  I have pretzels & yogurt as snacks, too.

2.  No.more.soda!
Instead of soda, I am drinking Spicy V8, orange juice with extra calcium & vitamins A, D, E, and flavored Aquafina.  If you know me well, you know I hate water.  I know those of you who didn't know this about me are saying, "How do you hate water?  It has no flavor!"  Well, I do.  It makes me gag.  

3.  Working out:
Running at least 3 days a week and doing a leg workout & abs at least 3 days a week.  By November, I want Carrie Underwood's legs.

So there.  Now, you all know my New Year's goals...I don't want to let anyone down or look like a failure, so I fully intend on sticking to them!
If anyone wants to run a 5K in March-ish, a 10K in May-ish, or the Savannah half in November, let me know!  Or if you know of any good races around those times, please share!

PS- Coley is going to do the Couch to 5K program & Special K diet, too...so go over to her blog & show her your support!
Coley's Fab Blog

Happy New Year & Happy New You!

xoxo,
Casey

Paranoid?

Okay, so maybe I've watched one too many episodes of The First 48, Criminal Minds, CSI, and Dateline. While making me super paranoid, they've also taught me to be observant and aware of my surroundings.  For example, if I see someone sketch, I try to remember everything about them...just in case.

Well, today, I had a little experience at Ingles.  Yep.  I thought someone was going to kidnap me...at Ingles...in Pickens.  Hey, it can happen, right?

So, I'm sure this is me just being completely paranoid, but this man was acting SUPER sketchy when I pulled in the parking lot.  He was walking across the lane, returning his cart and I had to stop to let him pass so that I could pull in the spot (no, this isn't the sketchy part.)  I think the look on his face was what made me a little weary of him.  Well, I pull in and he just stands there at the cart return behind my car for an awkwardly long time.  So, I don't get out of my car.  Then...he goes back and gets in his car that was parked one car down from mine.  I decide to wait until he pulls off to get out of the car.  He doesn't pull off.  So, I do the whole 'act like I'm on my cell phone' thing (I know, I'm a loser).  Anyway, he STILL doesn't pull off after like 5 minutes of a lot of 'fake talk' on my cell phone.  I'm thinking, "Who acts this awkward in an Ingles parking lot??  I know, I know.  I'm acting pretty awkward myself.  At this point, I was not about to get out of my car because I'd have to walk by him.  After he refused to leave, I decided I'd just leave and go somewhere else.  Oh, but wait.  As soon as I pull out of my parking spot, HE pulls out behind me.  Totally freaked out at this point.  Luckily, I get to pull out of the parking lot quickly, and he gets stuck by traffic.  I drive really fast so that I can get out of his sight, and I turn down some random road so that he won't know where I went.  I just kind of drive slow to give him time to go past, then I turn around and head back to Ingles.  I know this sounds SUPER lame of me, but hey, better to be safe than sorry, right?!    

For those of you wondering, "What would you have done if he had followed you from the parking lot?"  Well, he would have followed me right to the police station...just like my mama taught me!

So, for all you home-intruders out there in blog land, you should be warned, I have a shotgun and a knife within reach at all times, and...if I just came from work, I may even have a box cutter in my back pocket.   WATCH. OUT.

Gone too soon...

You never think something bad is going to happen to one of your friends.  You always hear about bad things happening to people, but it is always someone that you knew of, but didn't have any real connection to.  That wasn't the case this morning.

I was online this morning and kept seeing posts about the Stephens family...and if you are from Morganton, one family comes to your mind.  I was praying that it wasn't Lee's family.  Worse.  It was Lee.  After doing a little more researching, I found out that he had died in a car accident early this morning.  My heart started pounding so loud I could hear it and my eyes flooded with tears.  There is no way this happened to such an amazing guy is all I kept thinking.  That, and about his unbelievable smile.  He was the type of friend that you can go a year without talking to, then see him at a Freedom basketball game and pick up right where you left off.  I can honestly say, he was one of the most genuine guys I have ever met.  We are all better for having known him.  He will truly be missed.

To the Stephens family-  my prayers are with you.  I hope you find comfort in the fact that Lee touched so many people's lives and will continue to do so as we carry his memory with us every day.

            Love you, Lee.

Forever Friends

How did I get so lucky to find such a strong and loyal group of friends?  

Two weeks ago, I went to the beach with these girls, and of course, had the BEST time.  I hate that my favorite twins, Emily & Carrie, couldn't be there.  We missed you so much!  

These six girls are the best friends any one could ever ask for.  They are so kind, funny, loyal, and honest.  We are all each other's biggest fans.We don't have to talk every day or even every week.  We know we are here for each other and we can always pick up right where we left off.     

I think what makes our group of friends so special is that we all have very different personalities.

 

Coley is the 'glue' that holds our group together.  When it comes to being loyal and loving with every ounce of you, Coley's got it down pat.  She is best friends with each one of us and we can always count on her to bring us all together when we haven't spoken or seen each other in a while.  If it was possible, she would be every one of our maids of honor.  So far, she's 2 for 3.  Not too shabby.    

Kelly...oh Kelly.  She is the funniest person I've ever met, hands down.  We always know we will probably end up being sore from laughing when she is around.  There is never a dull moment.  She brings such a brightness and excitement to our friendship.  What I love most about her, is she's not embarrassed or ashamed to talk about ANYTHING, which makes for some very interesting ocean-side conversations. 

Lindsey- our 'smart' friend.  She is the kind of girl that all high-school teachers stress about having in their class, because chances are, she's going to be smarter than you.  Lindsey is so kind-hearted and has such a positive outlook on life.  You can't help but be happy when she's around.  She is so down to earth and everyone who meets her loves her instantly.

Carrie amazes me daily with her strength.  I love that she does not let her diabetes define her.  She never complains and she takes on every struggle with that beautiful smile of hers.  My favorite thing about Carrie is how she makes you feel when you walk through the door, waiting with her arms wide open.  It's like she knows you are there before you even knock.

Caroline...aka Shannon Miller.  Caroline and I have been friends since we were five.  We spent a lot of time in my back yard digging holes to China and doing gymnastics.  I like to give her all the credit for my successes in cheerleading.  She taught me everything I know, since Forest Hill wasn't cool enough to have sports and Oak Hill did.  Caroline is my partner in crime when we are together, especially when we call Coley out...(sorry Coley!)  She is our most 'worldly' and 'independent' friend.  Her brave adventures always make for some great stories.

Emily, sweet Emily.  Her strong devotion to God is so admirable.  She is such a strong person and handles everything with her faith.  She makes us all want to be the best people we can be.  Whenever we email the group with a problem, we can always count on her to make us feel better and let us know she's praying for us.  My favorite thing about Emily is our friendly banter...got rice?

I want these girls to know how much they mean to me and how much they've helped me through some hard times the past several years.  It is my wish that everyone in this world finds friends as true as you all are.  We've made it through many years of ups and downs and our friendship never once wavered and I know it never will.  I love you all to the moon and back!   

"Best friends are the real fairy tales of life.  They've been there since once upon a time and will stay there until forever after."